COACOWTB Fantasy League

Two weeks into the season, Fietze, Vaccaro, Kobelski and Desanto have separated themselves at 2–0. At the other end, Devaney, Gribbel, Cote and Prestia are still searching for their first win. Week 2 showed how differently a team can arrive at either record: some managers pulled away with dominant performances, while others saw strong scores go unrewarded.

Three teams are still unbeaten after Week 3. Four are still looking for their first win. The gap between those groups looks enormous in some places and barely exists in others: Fietze beat Delaney by 47.38 points, while Vaccaro survived Desanto by just 0.54. Prestia scored the third-most points in the league and somehow left with his third loss. Week 4 puts two perfect records against winless opponents, but the most interesting test may be Fietze against a Tavenner team that has won two straight.

One year after secretly investing the league’s prize money in Bitcoin, the COACOWTB commissioner has been hired to help companies protect their digital assets.

Week 1 is done. Fraud Squad came out firing, Zero Dark Thirty and Rome Wasn't Built in a Day both had strong weeks, Faze ObamaPhone and Bin Ladin Bruisers picked up close wins, and My legs are gone is already sitting at the bottom. A few teams had good weeks and still lost, which is a good reminder that in this league you need to fight and claw. Now onto Week 2.

Just a few weeks after it looked like military service was going to force him into a drafting nightmare, Fietze has received some good news from overseas: he’s officially back in the real war room.